I Deserve a Place to Rant

So, what does being a mother mean?

• It means being responsible for another (or many other) human beings who are totally dependent on you.


• It means waking up at all hours of the night to help kids with any/all of the folowing: vomit, bad dreams, dirty diapers, trips to the bathrooms, scary noises, feedings, etc.


• It means teaching them about the gospel through example and planned teaching situations.


• It means answering their questions to the best of your ability.


• It means feeding them using the basic food pyramid.


• It means being the referee for squabbles.


• It means teaching them to work hard for what they get.


• It means having fun with the kids.

So, now, what does it NOT mean to be a mother?

• It does not mean that you let your children dictate what you do all the time.


• It does not mean that being a mother is your only identity.


• It does not mean that you have to plan a "meaningful outing" every day for your kids.


• It does not mean that you buy a new toy every time you want them to do something.


• It does not mean that the kids have all of the "rights" just because they are a member of the family.


• It does not mean that your education has to be sacraficed to the kids.


• It does not mean that your freedom has been taken away.

So why do I say all this? I have a friend who, sometimes, I just want to shake and tell her some of these things. She lets the kids be the be all end all of everything. She always says things like, "If the kids want to...". And if you ask her about who she is, the first and only answer she gives is, "a mother". I do agree that being a mother is one of the most important things we will do on the Earth, but it is not the ONLY important thing we will do. I, too, think it is a huge part of my identity, but not all. Besides being a mother, I am also a musician (I play piano and violin), a cook (I LOVE cooking!), an organizer (Everything has it's place and every place has it's thing.), and an athlete (at least on some level).

Back to my friend. Of course I would never tell her that she is parenting all wrong. It's none of my business. She is really just doing the best that she knows how. It just blows me away how many toys they have, though. Everytime they are in a store, the kids get something new. And she wonders why they don't care about any of them. They don't have to. They'll just get a new one. And she wonders why they throw screaming tantrums when you say no about something. It's because kids are smart. They know that if they just keep screaming, you'll break down and give it to them anyway. Who's in charge, anyway? You or the kids? I think she needs advice from the SuperNanny!

I certainly don't claim to be a perfect parent of have the perfect kids. I, too, sometimes give in just because I don't want to hear the whining anymore. I probably need just as much help from the SuperNanny as anyone else does. But thanks for letting me rant!